I Feel So Dirty

Dear Diary,
It's getting late and I can't sleep. Griffith is still downstairs. He should be up shortly (very shortly) as I just heard the faint introduction of the Girls Gone Wild commercial come on the TV downstairs.

So anyway, I just need to talk to my old friend, my Diary. I feel so dirty. I feel like I'm a piece of trash. I know I shouldn't feel that way, but I just do. I feel like a middle class eBay seller...and it makes me feel like I'm on the verge of vomiting.

I've seen my shares drop over $6 each over the past three weeks. I've seen the value of my home cut in half. I've seen the value of my dude ranch crushed. And now there aren't just fears of a recession, it is really here. I had hoped that Mitt would be able to reverse any economic downtown once he was inaugurated, but hey, let's face it....Mitt has about as much chance of being the President as I've got winning the Miss America Pageant. Please don't tell him that I said that...it isn't that I care so much what he thinks, it's more about the millions of dollars I've wasted on him. What a mistake that was.

Oh! How I just want to drown my sorrow in a bottle of vodka, or at least a mixed drink in a plastic cup with some Camels on the side....you know, like my little peon eBay sellers do.

Speaking of those fucking pukes...next week I'll unleash the new fee structure on those turds. It's quite sad and pathetic that I've given them all the tools they need to climb out of their pits of economic despair, but they continue to wallow in their own filth and whine about fraud and technical glitches on the site. The news of the new fee structure and our "reinvigorated efforts at spurring growth" should blind the shitheads on Wall Street a bit and push the stock price back up...long enough for me to unload a few more million dollars worth of options anyway.

If not, I don't know what I'll do. I feel so sad. I'm half the woman I was a year ago. These damn hot flashes are getting far more than annoying and I've lost virtual millions in just the past week. And to make matters worse, that bitch Ina Steiner at Auctionbytes.com is unrelenting. Now the idiot eBay sellers are asking her to set up a log of all the eBay glitches so that eBayers can see current issues with my code. That asshole at Firemeg.com tried that for awhile and lost interest - I heard he got tired of the constant emails and updating his glitch page. So anyway, if Ina thinks she's going to get a handshake and a smile from me at this year's Live, she can just suck it. My lawyers are in the process of bringing suit against her for copyright infringement. They'd better hurry up and get their shit together, because I'm tired of her publishing the truth about eBay Inc.

Ooop, I gotta go. I just heard Griffith turn off the Girls Gone Wild commercial. I gotta get to bed and pretend that everything is going to be alright and try to get some sleep. It's the weekend and I'm going to try to enjoy it.....I've only got a few more days until I have to put on my happy-face and do our earnings call. Oh the horror.