Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Look at These Fucking Idiots!

Complete and utter imbeciles. Morons. Idiocracy personified. My fucking drones have done it again, right on cue. We at eBay Inc. offer a listing fee sale/promotion, and despite their outrage over the new fees and the planned "boycott," the retards go on a listing tear! eBay.com showed a gain of almost 2 million listings today. Score: eBay 10 - drones ZERO.

Diary, I'm embroiled in the midst of a paradox so bittersweet that I'm beginning to cream my pants-suit. My drones helped make me a billionaire, but they are so very fucking stupid. I realize that exploiting their weaknesses is good for my bottom line, but I also know that I should feel sorry for these poor sons-of-bitches! I feel like sending all the sellers a pack of Depends and a case of Snickers and Mountain Dew and saying, "Here, thanks for your service to eBay, enjoy, eat, drink and excrete for the next week while you sit in front of your computer listing more items on eBay."

Conversion rates on the US site have been dipping down below 30% and are now averaging below 40%. Even so, these brainless fools just jumped at the whiff of an insertion fee sale and boosted listings by 2,000,000! Why the don't understand that their conversion rates will drop even further during such a sale is beyond me. They could have waited a week, a goddamn week, and paid even less in listing fees, but they chose to jump at the listing promo and throw listings on the site.

They are so blind and so naive. What good is a "boycott" if they boost listings to about the same point as last year, just five days from the scheduled beginning of the boycott? Prior to this act of stupidity, eBay listings y/y were down significantly. Those 2 million listings effectively killed any shot at a boycott making any waves whatsoever. Over the next four days, even more sellers will flood eBay with listings in order to "stock up" before the "boycott" begins, pushing eBay listing volume even higher.

I win again!

17 comments:

mod98ban said...

I agree with your thoughts 100%, and that is why I haven't sold a damned thing on Ebay for almost 2 years. I set up my site elsewhere, and am doing fine. So many of these Ebay sellers are as dumb as cows being led to slaughter. They don't think before they list on Ebay, they just jump at the listing sales, and don't thing of the end results. The sellers bitch, and whine about everything wrong with the site, but they continue to let Ebay management drag them around by the balls. If the sellers don't like Ebay, then they should get the fuck off of the site, and set up elsewhere. That's the only way to send a clear message to the dumbasses in Ebay management.

Anonymous said...

Nice post Josh. How you find the time to manage so many blogs and sites?

Anonymous said...

Ebay Sucks.

Anonymous said...

Good thing that little joshy stepped aside when he did.
Pretty soon Meg might just be a heartbeat from the presidency.
Then, onto In Paypal We Trust instead of those ugly $ bills with the old dead presidents pictures, and World Domination!

Rob T said...

Should check out Tweba.com!

Buy and sell for free!

Anonymous said...

WOW what the heck is ur problem u know meg would never write thet god!!!

Anonymous said...

I had a horrible experience with Ebay/Paypal. I was a power seller, 100% positive feedback, had been a seller for years...until Ebay one day decided to "hold" over $2000 of my money claiming I had a second (old) account on which I owed money. I didn't, they didn't belive me, they told me to prove I wasn't that person (?!), I told them to prove I was! I told them to stop (stealing) holding my money hostage, they told me they could for 180 days (it's actually in their terms of use we agree to, look it up). I waited 180 days, they wouldn't give me my money until I paid that other account, I refused, I took them to court (they say in their terms of service you can't, but the court says that's against the law), I won, I got my money. It only took me 7 months!

The point: horrific customer service; horrible management; blackmailing/extorting users and the CEO at the time, Meg Whitman, is NOW RUNNING FOR GOVERNOR OF CALIFORNIA!!!!!! I've experienced Ebay, can you imagine what she would do to the residents of California?!

meg sucks said...

I came to your “F” Meg site because I am pissed. It started with the Meg for governor of California emails. Now I get email from every other dolt running for public office. Thanks allot bitch, did you sell my info for cash or just trade it for favors? It will be a big job to screw up California any more than it already is, but I’m sure you are the right person to do it.

Oh yea, thanks for turning eBay into a useless piece of shit.

Anonymous said...

PayPal part of eBay recently cut off its ties with N.O.R.M.L. saying it would no longer deal with someone involved with " narcotics " . Ah , Er , What ? Narcotics ?!! Excuse me but , doesn't PayPal take and receive money for Pharmaceuticals ? Purchases of alcoholic beverages ? Whitman's drugs kill , cause agression & cause more health related problems than all drugs combined and how did Michael Jackson die ? Marijuana which kills or causes no health problems or aggression ? ?
DON'T VOTE FOR THIS HYPOCRITE WHO PROUDLY SPEAKS OF HER TIES WITH KNOWN DRUG DEALERS LIKE PAYPAL AND THE MCCAIN'S .

Anonymous said...

While your at it you please write or call ( 415 8080 810 )KGO Radio of San Francisco , Ca. demanding that they stop pushing the consumption of alcoholic beverages .
Gene Burns of KGO Radio has a Saturday show dedicated entirely to the consumption of alcohol . Recently a family of four dies in Sonoma County due to a drunk driver and a 15 yr, old recently overdosed on alcohol killing herself .You can find their contact information online .
Is this what we need in California ? A pro drug dealer of narcotics ( legal pills and alcohol ) ? DON'T VOTE FOR THIS HYPOCRITE .

Anonymous said...

SAVE A CHILD'S LIFE.

DON'T VOTE FOR MEGGY WHITMAN .

The Facts said...

Smut King , Meg Whitman will bring jobs to California . Her jobs are Smut , Alcohol ( Her ties with the MCCain's & PayPal both Drug pushers ) & Pharmaceuticals ( PayPal makes money from selling drugs & Alcohol ) . She states she is
100 % against legalizing marijuana .

Porn Subsidies
By Matt Smith in Politics
Wed., Apr. 15 2009 @ 4:37PM
Domimeg2.jpg

Gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman, who as eBay CEO proved her mettle as a hardcore fetish pornography entrepreneur, did not respond to an inquiry Wednesday about whether as governor she would seek to continue a California program that, until recently, subsidized the production of smut.

Next week's SF Weekly includes an exclusive report about a California economic development program that has routed tens of thousands of dollars in subsidies to an Internet pornography producer. Continuing -- or even bolstering -- this practice would seem a tailor-made campaign issue for Whitman, who bills herself as a business whiz ready to revive the California economy. She backs her economic talk with real chops: In 1998, just as eBay was preparing an initial stock offering, Whitman oversaw the creation of a special eBay site exclusively for the sale of pornography. The move was prescient -- though much porn consumption has shifted to streaming Internet video, there's still a market for specialized fetish material best sold in DVD -- or otherwise physically-shippable form.
In this spirit, Whitman's "eBay Adults Only" brainchild is a place where, on April 15, $5.94 got one into the bidding for a DVD titled Redneck Trailer Torture. With $12 one could vie for "porn star Brianna Ryder's personal g-string," and $7.99 put one in the running for the DVD Grandma Has Sex With Everybody! Anal, Oral, Group!
By mid-day on April 15, Whitman's adults-only Web-auction brainchild had more than 87,000 items for sale, with prices the $5-$20 range. If this is typical, a back-of-the-used-thong calculation suggests an eBay porno-based income of several million dollars per year, potentially funding dozens of California jobs.

On Wednesday SF Weekly asked Whitman spokesman Mitch Zak whether, given Whitman's smut-peddling success, the porn-industry could count on her support as governor. Zak had not responded by press time .

Is this who your Children want to know as Governor of California while their growing up ?

Anonymous said...

fuck meg whitman that stupid cunt bitch whore fat ugly corporate wanna be fat slut feminist doesnt care about environment only money fuck u u stupid bitch go eat another fucking donut u whore

Anonymous said...

http://seeyounexttuesdaymegwhitman.blogspot.com/

check out this blog too.

Anonymous said...

Is Meg Whitman Fred Mertz in drag?

Anonymous said...

Republican = Democrat

The lesser of 2 evils is still evil!

Real change can be a reality, but only if we Stand United!

http://www.warnthepeople.org/96/post/2010/05/if-there-is-no-change-there-is-no-hope.html

dahliadetour said...

Whats up with the new bumpersticker Meg?

http://www.zazzle.com/meg+whitman+bumperstickers?st=date_created